Networking Is a Dirty Word

That was my opinion a couple of years ago. The thought: networking is painful and awkward, stuck in a room with a bunch of strangers trying to impress one another. Smarmy sales guys in suits trying to sell you insurance. High-powered executives making big deals and not bothering to even look at you. People that just want to talk about work, when I have more interesting, personal activities to tend to.

Yes, this definition of networking is out there. Some people thrive on it. You can guess I was not one of those people. So after a few too many slimy handshakes, I abandoned networking as something not for me.

But that was a hasty conclusion. At the time, I was working in a corporate job, not thrilled with the industry nor the work, so of course, the last thing I wanted to do was talk more about it. Now that I have pursued my passion and hand-built a company, I can’t STOP talking about it. I talk about it because I love it, but also because I want to help people with this talent we have. I don’t feel like a smarmy salesperson – I feel like a real contributor to the small business world.

That shift in thought made all the difference. Once you realize you have so much to offer, a conversation becomes an exploration more than a chore. You listen. You give - work tips, a referral, or maybe just support. It has evolved from a business card exchange to a relationship.

In the end, networking is all about relationships. It’s not a contest to see how many business cards you can accumulate, or how many people you can add to your email newsletter. It’s about quality. Well, of course, it’s about business, but anyone can shake hands and give empty promises. You are not like that so don’t surround yourself with people like that. Your network will reflect the company you keep. You will only be more inspired when around motivated, smart, trustworthy people.

And when you’re not having a good networking experience, not meeting the right kinds of people or businesses, then it’s time to try different networking events. But don’t stop networking. Don’t throw up your hands and abandon it. Don’t jump to a hasty conclusion about it, as I had. Just give it time and attention and you’ll soon find you gain back what you give.

Writing and Moods

About a week ago I was supposed to sit down and do a piece of writing. By lunch time I had an impeccably tidy desk - all the dirty glasses were dropped off in the kitchen sink, the pens all stood to attention in the pen pot rather than rolling around underneath my paper, ink-staining my forearms where I have neglected to replace the caps. Had I done any writing? No, I had not – not a jot. No matter. I had the whole afternoon stretching out in front of me with nary a paperclip out of place to distract me from the task at hand – until I had a disagreement with a friend.

I won’t go into detail because as is often the case, the details are not worth mentioning, and I fail to recall exactly what they were anyway. What is important is that it upset me so much that I couldn’t write. I had wasted the whole morning and then when I finally came to sit down and write, I couldn’t give it the attention it deserved. I promise this was not just another avoidance tactic, believe me, I’m the first to admit my tendency to procrastinate. I actually sat down to write and realized that what I produced would be angry, because I was angry. If it had been a bit of personal writing, it might not have mattered. Dark moods have their place. But this was professional, business writing that called for a clear head, not excessive banging of the keyboard.

I ended up waiting a day and completing the piece to my satisfaction, but the incident reminded me of how difficult it is to be a professional writer, or any other kind of artist for that matter. I personally find it very difficult to turn off my emotions and write feelings that aren’t true. Just like I would find it difficult to paint a field of sunflowers if I’d just stubbed my toe. That I’m a terrible painter is by the by. The reason this doesn’t work for business writing is obvious. I’m not representing myself in that instance, I’m representing the client, and I’m pretty sure that the newly-opened, fluffy bunny shop from around the corner doesn’t want Miserable Maud writing their copy.

Even in personal writing emotions can cause difficulties. I remember a creative writing teacher saying that the environment in which you write has to stay consistent throughout the piece. If you started writing as dawn broke listening to Mozart’s Andante, then you should do that every time you sat down to work on that piece. I find this to be a little extreme. What if you were writing something really long? You couldn’t possible listen to Mozart’s Andante every single day for a year. Ken Follett’s Pillars of the Earth is 976 pages and spans a century if not more – heaven knows for how many years he would have had to recreate his environment. Presumably the same thing applies to emotions. It’s not helpful to your piece if you feel angry or sad because it’s almost impossible to not let that feed into your writing somehow and affect the consistency of your voice.

If you want to give your writing the attention and the respect it deserves, which should always be the case, take a break and revisit it at a later time. In the long run it will serve you much better. And whatever you do, definitely don’t start a piece of writing when you’re angry, otherwise you’ll have to spend the rest of the year poking yourself in the eye in an effort to keep the tone the same, and no piece of writing is worth that.

The Distance Traveled in a Year

A year ago this month, red plume marketing was born. It was an idea long before, but it became a reality in June 2009. Here we are a year later and how far have we come?

Some days, we have not come far at all. We are currently not swimming in clients, but we are swimming in receipts. Our accounting system is an Excel spreadsheet and Outlook is our CRM system. We have 47 followers on Twitter. We had envisioned, by this point, turning a profit and being Entrepreneur of the Year. We’re not.

Well, not yet. Because some days we see no limits, since we’ve come so far in a year. We have had clients – paying clients - and have a positive difference in the life of their small businesses. We have created work that is amazing and that we’re proud of. We have a logo, a website, and a vision. We have 47 followers on Twitter. What was once a daydream is now a reality.

This back-and-forth seems to be common among small business owners. One day, we’re unstoppable, and the next, we’re wondering why the hell we thought we could do this. If you remember WAAAYYYYY back to when you were working for The Man, it used to happen then, too. Really. It just feels much more pressure-laden now since you are the business. But you wouldn’t trade it for anything, would you?

So on the days you’re feeling low, remind yourself how far you’ve come. And most importantly, celebrate that progress. Owning a small business is HUGE and every step you’ve taken to make today what it is, be it registering your business or hiring a staff of five people, is an accomplishment to be proud of. So before you get back to work, pat yourself on the back and give yourself a handshake because you’ve come farther than you thought you could.

The Attempts and the Grief of the Translation Software

In his book The Mother Tongue, Bill Bryson takes a look at the problems of translation, furnishing us with such wonderful examples of English gone awry as this from a Japanese eraser wrapper.

“We are ecologically minded. This package will self-destruct in Mother Earth.”

Here, at least, the Japanese got their point across – we’re not under any delusion that erasing pencil lead is an impossible mission. But this message on a shopping bag featuring dancing elephants, while rather lovely, makes no sense at all.

"Elephant family are happy with us. Their humming makes us feel happy." Ahh.

These mistranslations were presumably made by humans but translations made by computers tend to fare even worse (although personally I’m quite thankful that there is at least one thing we still do better than computers). The title of this post was originally The Trials and Tribulations of Translation Software, but using freetranslation.com to turn it into German and back again gave it a certain level of melodrama not commonly associated with Germany. Strangely, transliterating it into Korean and back produced almost perfect English.

NPR this morning reported the same kind of issue when trying to using translation software such as Babelfish (which as a side note has to be one of my favorite product names, referencing the hilarious Douglas Adams book, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy) and Google Translate. These programs only perform sufficiently when they have enough data to learn from, as they do with English and Chinese. If you were looking to translate something from Urdu to Tagalog you would probably find computers seriously lacking. Philip Resnik, from the University of Maryland, and other linguists are trying to use what is called crowd-sourcing to move towards the perfect translation machine. The Haiti earthquake back in January is an example of this idea in action. A vital source of communication for the Haitians was text messages, but not surprisingly the US soldiers couldn’t read the local Creole language, Kreyol, that the majority of the text messages were sent in. Fortunately thousands of Kreyol speakers around the world were eager to help by translating the text messages online. Each message took about 10 minutes to translate, not as fast as a computer perhaps, but a darned sight more accurate.

We’re a galaxy away from a computer that could compete with one of Adams’ actual babel fish but thankfully while we have the spirit of human kindness and the internet, we can do some good. In the meantime we will just have to learn to enjoy following such instructions as this one that Bryson gives us from Tokyo.

"When a passenger of the foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet at him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage, then tootle him with vigor."

I personally think that ‘tootling with vigor’ sounds like a lot of fun.

Business Lessons from the Library

The library is one of my favorite places to work. It’s rarely quiet but has nice desks, free wi-fi, people, and loads of knowledge. I feel inspired and focused when I’m there. I guess I also look around a lot, as I found myself observing the library workings. That humble place can teach us small business owners a thing or two.

Go the extra step
There is a library employee walking around the shelves, rescuing abandoned books and straightening up the books within their stacks. This, of course, is not necessary. People will still come in search of knowledge, whether or not the spines of the books are flush with the shelf. But why not make it a little easier for people to find what they’re looking for? Make the place feel a bit more comfortable and welcoming?

Think of this in terms of your website, or your customer service system. We can all put out the minimum to suffice, but we can also put out something better with a bit more effort.

Have a system, but be flexible
The Dewy Decimal system – brilliant. From its humble beginnings at Amherst College, Massachusetts, in 1876, the system is now used in over 135 countries. It turns out the system has gone through 22 major revisions since then, integrating new categories such as photography (770) and paranormal phenomena (130). The libraries themselves also updated their system by creating a digital card catalog and book tracking system.

Jennifer Shaheen at Entrepreneur.com recently highlighted the need to build a flexible website that will grow with your business. Same goes for your business plan, marketing plan, business model…

Give your knowledge freely
Without any money or identification, you can sit in the library and enjoy all the knowledge it offers. For a few minutes and a few key strokes, you can sign up for a library card and check out books for free. The library asks for your information so they know where to find you should you never return the book – they do not ask for your info to add to their email newsletter or to spam you.

We cannot give away all our products for free, or that would not be business. But we can find a comfortable balance between tight-lipped and sinking ships. When you offer profound expertise (meaning, profound content), people will keep coming back to you – no need to force the issue.

There is not enough time to read everything
Just in the fiction section alone, the choices are overwhelming and my “to-read” list gets longer each week. But there is no time to lament over what has not been read. Either pick the top choices, or become a full-time reader.

Sound familiar? It’s the blogosphere, and it’s even more conveniently located than the library. There are many, many great ones to read (ahem… why, thank you!) but unless you want to trade in your business for reading, you have to bypass some and stick with the ones that resonate with you.


See you at the library. You'll find me in section 780.

Soccer and Social Media

The 2010 FIFA World Cup has begun – thirty-two teams battling for a chance to lift the cup on July 11th. The last World Cup was four years ago in 2006, which doesn’t seem all that long ago. I remember watching the final between Italy and France in Belden Lane, here in San Francisco. I was with a French friend who, upon Italy’s win, immediately switched allegiances so that we could fully participate in the North Beach celebrations. Italy is not a favorite team of mine, I find them prone to dramatics, but France had cheated a much deserving Irish team out of being there at all so I wasn’t enamored with them either, leaving me to find a way to enjoy the revelry no matter what the outcome.

Four years doesn’t seem all that long but in terms of social media, it’s a lifetime, and the effect social media has had on this World Cup is huge. There are endless streams of Twitter feeds, Facebook pages, and blogs all dedicated to the tournament. I’m currently following two Twitter feeds and am ‘liking’ one Facebook page, all while watching the BBC’s play by play commentaries anyway. Sadly I am lacking the wherewithal to circumnavigate my company’s internet security and stream it live.

It was only in 2006 that Twitter and Facebook came to be, and only then after the competition was nearly over. Yet now it’s hard to imagine a world without them, isn’t it? It seems perfectly normal that people can shout their chants and hurl their insults to each other as if they were together on the stands. It’s even possible to share the FIFA World Cup President’s (Joseph S. Blatter) experience of the game as he tweets from @seppblatter. According to Twitter employee Robin Sloane, “… The World Cup will eclipse everything we have seen so far on Twitter, including the U.S. election, the Oscars, or the Super Bowl simply because it is so international.” Maybe this will finally make the US appreciate football (I'm British, I can call it that) for what it is, ‘The Beautiful Game.’

Launch Party Slideshow (with music)

This Post is Sponsored by MegaCorp - or, Random Corporate Naming

While waiting for a flight at Newark Airport, I was looking out at the runway, watching planes land and ground crews manhandle luggage. It was only about 20 minutes later that I noticed the advertisement. “HSBC Bank, the world’s local bank” was emblazoned on the side of the jet bridge (that accordian-style platform that connects the plane to the terminal). The jet bridge is now sponsored!

How many people do you guess are sitting in the airport thinking, “Hmm, I need to switch banks. Now who should I choose? Why, maybe HSBC Bank!” Advertising gurus tell us that immediate action is not actually the point of billboards and name placements like this. The point is name recognition so even a year from now, when you’re choosing a new bank, you’ll feel comfortable looking into HSBC since you’re familiar with the name.

This is also the reasoning behind corporate naming of stadiums. Good times = good emotional affiliation with the brand. The companies in the naming pool usually have a strong local presence, in the case of Coors Field in Denver and the very first sponsored stadium, Busch Stadium in St. Louis (now closed). Companies interested in naming a stadium are also very rich, as deals range from $2 million to the record $20 million a YEAR for a decade or two. That seems like a mighty steep price for name recognition, a method whose success rate is not easily measured.

I personally find corporate stadium-naming ridiculous. The $20 million per year (as in the case of CitiGroup for the Met’s home, Citi Field) seems like it could be used in better places for better products. Seriously, CitiGroup better offer the best customer service I’ve ever seen or the $20 million might be a waste. I also find it sad when historic stadiums are renamed. The Boston Garden, Candlestick Park, the Meadowlands. Well, it seems Candlestick Park will always be Candlestick Park, no matter what you name it. And the new Meadowlands has yet to find a sponsor.

But above all, it’s the randomness of corporate naming that I find crazy. Local or not, AT&T has nothing to do with baseball. Jobing.com has nothing to do with hockey (those poor AZ Coyotes). HSBC has nothing to do with travel, though I guess they do sell life insurance. Will they slap their names on anything? Where will the line be drawn?

A Fish in the Wind

I woke up late this morning, on a Friday that I thought was a Saturday, to rain. Talk about hitting a trifecta. And yet, on the bus to work, where I did get a seat it has be said - albeit a sideways one that has the potential to induce nausea when combined with reading - I managed a giggle. Here's why:

I am currently reading Bill Bryson's The Mother Tongue, subtitled english and how it got that way, and on page ninety of my edition, he comes out with this gem explaining how humans manage to speak so quickly.

"In normal conversation we speak at a rate of about 300 syllables a minute. To do this we force air up through the larynx - or supralaryngeal vocal tract, to be technical about it - and, by variously pursing our lips and flapping our tongue in the manner of a freshly landed fish, we shape each passing puff of air into a series of loosely differentiated plosives, fricatives, gutturals, and other minor atmospheric disturbances."

A freshly landed fish? Minor atmospheric disturbances? Brilliant. I last read Bryson a few years back when I picked up A Short History of Nearly Everything, and I had forgotten how much I enjoy his intelligent, conversational way of writing. And he is just so funny, in a subtle, creeps up on you and tickles your ribs kind of way. With A Short History... my poor colleagues had to put up with me incessantly looking up from my book with a gasp of "did you know...?" and "...fits on the head of a pin! Well I'll be." I don't know that nuggets of information about the English language are as likely to get me interrupting the determined Facebooking of my colleagues as say that pin thing...

"Protons are so small that a little dib of ink like the dot on this i can hold something in the region of 500,000,000,000 of them."

But, it is likely that you, the reader, is going to have to read rather a few more. Standby.